


untouchable

by blondeslytherin



Series: unforgettable [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Canon Compliant, Coming Untouched, Dealing with Emotions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Fluff and Smut, Gay Keith (Voltron), Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Out, Porn with Feelings, Recovery, Smut, Soul Bond, ha get where the name comes from, they're emotionally hurt and help each other, this fic is weirdly hard to tag, wanting to feel alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 18:09:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16289351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blondeslytherin/pseuds/blondeslytherin
Summary: Lance and Keith have made it off of the snow planet that nearly killed them both, finally admitting to liking each other. But some ghosts of the past won’t ever seem to leave, and the planet isn’t quite done with them. Traces of what happened still follow in their wakes, making appearances in unexpected ways, and leading to some unexpected revelations. Oh, and some smut.(can be read as a standalone, but it really wouldn't make much sense if you didn't read 'unrequited' first)





	untouchable

**Author's Note:**

> The writing process for this:  
> Me, before the end of 'unrequited': I'm just going to do a short, self-indulgent smut scene from Keith's POV  
> Me, finishing 'unrequited': Hmmm, better have some sort of plot in there, can't go from angst straight to sex  
> Me, after seeing one specific comment on the previous fic: Well, I suppose there will be an actual storyline. But everything fluff!  
> Me, 5k into a supposed 5k fic, nowhere near the end: oh look, angst
> 
> anyways, enjoy!! comments and kudos make my entire day and are much appreciated and loved!!!  
> Oh, also, this is presently unbeta read, but you should still go check out my normal betareader 'Softe_Gays' because they are absolutely incredible

If you asked Keith to pinpoint what exactly hurt, he couldn’t tell you. No, that wasn’t quite true. Yes, everything _did_ hurt, but nothing hurt him quite as much as seeing Lance’s prone body stretched out on a table, his chest barely rising, his skin having gone from a smooth tan to a sickly pale.

He sat in a chair next to the table, fingers clinging to the edge of it with such strength that they no longer felt like part of his body. _He_ no longer felt like part of his body. He felt above, watching all of this through a smoke screen, still on the outside.

Images flashed against his drooping eyelids, and he snapped them back open. Nightmarish visions still haunted him, of the girl and the lions and the snow that made everything feel bigger.

Keith was back in the cave again, hearing Black roar to life just as Lance knocked the creature off of him. Keith was back in that moment, watching as sharp nails sunk into soft flesh, feeling like death was coming to claim him. Keith was back in that moment, feeling everything wash over him as Black scooped him up, away from Lance, not wanting to leave Lance to die like this. Keith was back in that moment, begging death to claim him instead.

Lance twitched on the table, and Keith sat up straight. But just as quickly as the movement had come, it was gone again. Lance was utterly still.

Keith slumped back into his chair, fingers falling from the table. They ached as he tried to flex them, and found the strength to put them back was gone.

He had woken up in the cockpit of Black, staring at an endless expanse of stars, every alarm going off all around him. Voices were coming through, and Keith struggled to recall what was going on. It was Shiro’s voice that finally broke through the haze.

“Keith! Are you okay?”

Keith groaned. _Not very_ , was what he wanted to say. “Depends,” was what he said instead. “Where’s Lance? Is he okay?”

Everything fell silent.

“Lance?”

“Lance hasn’t responded yet,” Allura said quietly, her voice barely coming across.

“And no one thought to check on him!?”

“It was just an electrical strike, Red has been through worse,” Hunk said, confusion echoing through the spacious cockpit.

“What do you mean?” Keith felt panic rising in him. This wasn’t right. He didn’t know what wasn’t right, but this wasn’t it. “We’ve been gone for days, what are you talking about?”

Hunk chuckled nervously. “Did you hit your head or something?”

Keith wanted to shout as something hot and heavy bubbled in his chest. None of this was right. Why were they all avoiding talking about what happened?

“Uh, guys?” Pidge cut in. “I think we better land. Now. Green is getting heavy distress signals from Red, and Keith might be hurt. I’ve found a planet not too far away.”

“Good idea,” Keith said, and then immediately shut off the comms.

_What was going on?_

They had landed, and before Black had fully touched the ground, Keith was out and running over to Red. Or, trying to at least. His whole body hurt, and his face burned and screamed every time he took a step, the force jolting through his hurt body.

Red’s mouth opened automatically, and Keith stopped short. The other’s voices were all around him, but they had faded away as Keith narrowed in on the sight before him. Lance’s body was twisted at an unnatural angle, and the white of his suit had been marked by dark red—so dark, it was nearly black.

The rest was all fragmented.

He remembered Allura rushing over, and the urge to yell at her. How dare she? How dare she care about Lance now, of all times?

He remembered the pained look Shiro had given him, as a heavy hand landed on his shoulder and turned him around, away from the image of Lance.

He remembered actually screaming, begging and pleading when they laid Lance out and told Keith that they couldn’t do anything.

He remembered being the only one left by Lance’s bedside, four days after they had initially landed on a planet they had never meant to land on, feeling empty, the same set of words playing over and over and over inside of his head, ricocheting off of his skull.

_“I need you to know something.” The way his heart pounded, the way those blue eyes looked so sad, so pained. “Keith, I love you.”_

Those damned words were what had ruined him, given up all instinct for self-preservation. Those damned words would haunt him for the rest of his life—and the rest of Lance’s. Those damned words that had rested on his own tongue, spoken into the space that Lance should have been, where Keith only found darkness and pain.

Those damned words, a promise of a future that hurt more than any physical wound could ever.

Keith stood up slowly, his joints aching and protesting as Lance’s heartbeat dipped once more on the monitor. He was alone in the belly of Red, the others having gone to search for whatever provisions they could. Whether or not Lance was woken up by this evening, they would be leaving. They had to keep moving; the universe never stopped for the sake of lovers, even if the stars themselves spelled it out.

Leaning over until he was level with Lance’s ear, Keith whispered the words that had been tattooed on his tongue for too long.

“Lance, I love you.” A single tear slid down his cheek as Keith straightened, looking over at the monitor once more.

And just like that, the line went flat.

_No no no no no._

Keith was frozen, staring at that cursed line, his own heart having stopped at the sight of it. This wasn’t happening.

Movement below him shocked him out of his stupor. Blue eyes opened just a crack, screwing tightly just as quickly. Keith had seen that too many times to count, but never before had he appreciated it so much.

“Lance!” Keith bent down, wrapping his arms around the other boy, burying his face into Lance’s neck. Tentatively, arms wrapped around his waist, giving him a small squeeze back. “You’re okay.”

“That might be an overstatement,” came a hoarse reply.

Reluctantly, Keith pulled back, for the need to confirm that Lance really was here, was really _alive_ overwhelmed him.

“You’re alive,” Keith said, voice cracking. Everything was crashing down around him once more, and this time, he didn’t mind it. A wave of emotion threatened to pull him under, and he very nearly let it.

“Wish I wasn’t.”

Something must have shown on his face, because blue eyes opened wider with what could only be called panic. “Just because everything hurts. I’m happy to be alive, trust me, I just wish I wasn’t in so much pain.”

Keith knew that all too well. He glanced over at the monitor, which was still flat, and then back at Lance. “You nearly died, Lance.”

A guilty look passed over Lance’s face, and Keith wanted to be mad at him. He really, really did. The idiot had done it again, and this time, Allura couldn’t wake him up. But relief was winning, and Keith didn’t care that Lance had almost died. The fact was that he _didn’t_.

“What happened?” Lance asked, and images flashed in his mind again. He gave as simple of a debrief as possible, the memories too fresh to speak about.

As he spoke, he watched as Lance began to shift, looking more and more uncomfortable with every word that Keith spoke. He could feel where this was headed as well, and for the first time, Keith wasn’t sure he wanted to address what had been spoken.

“Allura and Pidge have put together a whole debriefing about exactly what the hell went down, since I’ve still got no idea. But… but they wanted to see if you were going to wake up or not.” Keith met Lance’s eyes, knowing he couldn’t avoid them forever, only to find longing written so plainly that Keith didn’t know what to do, other than stare. Lance broke away as Keith kept speaking, and Keith was grateful.

“Your injuries were so severe, Lance. She couldn’t do a damn thing about it either.” Keith didn’t need a heart monitor to tell him that his own was working, and working quite well, pounding against his ribcage. “Apparently, you had to choose to wake up. That…thing on the planet did that to you.”

Lance fell still where he lay, and Keith focused in on the outline of his jaw. “Wait, all of that was real?”

“Yeah. All of it.”

The words were back; like a mantra, they were all he heard. And with them came the fear that Lance was going to tell him that he didn’t mean it, that the words had only been spoken in a platonic way, that Lance didn’t love him like Keith loved him.

“What are the odds you remember anything about right before the creature got you?”

Keith hesitated before replying. Did he really want to go through with this? He had spent so long hoping in the quiet, what was a few more years?

But another look at Lance, at the flat line that said he should be dead, and Keith was sick of missing chances. The universe didn’t wait for lovers, and Keith didn’t want to wait any longer either.

Lance glanced at him, lower lip drawn into his mouth, and that was enough to force the words out of his mouth.

“You told me you loved me.”

Lance swallowed thickly. “Well, sometimes in stressful situations, we say things because we think we’re going to die and—”

“Lance,” Keith said, cutting him off. Lance met his eyes again, and Keith’s heart hurt so much, heavy with the weight of the possibility that this might be it. “Did you mean it?”

Pain flashed over Lance’s face, and then, quiet as death, he whispered the single most beautiful word Keith had ever heard. “Yes.”

“Well then it’s a damn good thing I love you too.”

Before either of them could think, Keith was leaning down, doing the one thing he longed to do more than anything else, and kissed Lance. It was soft, and quick, and it wasn’t perfect, but it was fitting.

Even after Keith pulled back, he didn’t move far, watching Lance’s face. It shifted through a myriad of emotion, before finally landing on something akin to bemusement.

“You like me?” Lance asked softly.

“Yeah, dummy. I like you. I’m pretty sure I even said the L word,” Keith said, the tips of his ears growing warm as he realized what exactly he just did.

“You like me,” Lance said again, this time with more conviction.

“How many times do I need to say it?” Keith asked.

“I’m pretty sure I nearly died for you,” Lance said, a small grin appearing, “so I’d go with as much as possible.”

“I like you, Lance,” Keith repeated for a third time, and watched as a faint blush ghosted over pale cheeks. The tan had yet to come back, sparking worry inside of Keith.

_Wow, who knew I had so many emotions? Not me._

The sound of a door opening behind them caused Keith to sit abruptly up, knocking his hand against the side of the table.

“Keith, I’m so—” Shiro’s words ground to a halt as he stepped in, eyes going wide as they landed on Lance.

“You’re so what?” Lance asked, sitting up and bracing himself against Keith. Warmth blossomed in Keith’s chest at the simple action, and he shifted to provide better support.

Shiro just stood there, mouth opening and closing, before turning on his heel and walking out. The door slid shut behind him, and Keith glanced over at Lance, who was staring at the door with an unfocused expression.

Faint traces of conversation could be heard, and Lance leaned heavily against Keith as Keith strained to make out phrases and words.

“…not dead.”

“What about the…”

“…and Keith…”

He caught enough to piece together the subject of the conversation.

The door slid open again some time later, and this time, it was Allura that stepped through, followed closely by Pidge and her laptop, and then finally the rest of the family. Coran was dabbing at the corners of his eyes with a handkerchief, and Krolia was glancing between Keith and Lance with narrowed eyes.

“Uh, what’s going on?” Lance asked, voice still hoarse.

“I think it’s time I finally explain what happened,” Allura said, refusing to meet either of their eyes. She gestured to Pidge, who’s glasses shined in the light of her computer. She pressed a set of keys, and then a projection filled the room.

“When we entered that electrical storm, I didn’t know what it was at first,” Pidge began. “It came through on my scanners as a mass of data, and none of the figures matched up with what I had on file. Even what I downloaded from the castle ship didn’t have any data like this. And then the bolt hit Lance, and Keith knocked him out of the way, and you both were gone.” Pidge fell silent, pressing another few of her keys. The projection changed from a map of stars to a list of numbers. “This was the data I received. As you can see, it matches up with nothing we’ve ever seen.” Her voice grew quiet. “Nothing we’ve ever seen in this world, to be exact.”

Allura began to speak, taking over. “You two and your lions were gone for a total of four seconds before they reappeared on our scanners. And when Keith began to scream about checking on you, I knew there was something off.” Even though she spoke confidently, Keith could see the guilty lines on her face. She was unkempt, a drastic difference from the princess they were used to seeing. Other than Keith, she was the most distressed about what was happening.

“It appears that you two…” Allura trailed off, looking to Pidge for help.

Pidge filled in the blanks. “You two slipped between worlds,” she said simply, like it wasn’t a big deal. _Oh yeah, I just slip between worlds all the time_ , Keith thought in annoyance.

“Based on what Keith told us, I have reason to believe that you two landed on what could be known only as a rudimentary purgatory.”

“Wait, we almost went to hell?” Lance exclaimed.

“No, I said that was the only way I can describe it. It’s definitely not hell and it’s certainly not really purgatory, but it was a place of judgement.”

The gears wound around in Keith’s head as pieces began to fall into place. “The snow,” he said quietly, and Lance stilled against him.

“The snow,” Allura repeated, a bit uncomfortably. “That snow, as you call it, is a measure of truth. It threatens to swallow you if you aren’t being true about what you truly feel.”

_The way it hardened under their feet… the way it seemed to know how he was feeling about Lance… the way they nearly died under it before being reconnected with it…_

“So, what was the planet?” Keith asked carefully, suddenly very aware that he did not want his answer confirmed.

“An amplification of feelings, essentially,” Pidge said very matter-of-factly. “It could tell what you were feeling, and by picking those who long for the other, it tortures them by amplifying affection.” Now, finally, Pidge looked uncomfortable. “Normally, people are unable to escape off the planet because the creature kills their most loved, and by feeding off of their quintessence, it devours them.”

“Because Lance was already dead, it couldn’t do that.”

Shocked silence echoed in the small room, and Keith felt as Lance curled in on himself. “So you’re saying we landed on a planet designed to kill us through emotional pain?” Keith asked, if only to break through the tension.

“Essentially, yeah. And you two were able to survive.” _Because of your feelings for each other._ Even if Pidge hadn’t said the words, they still hung between them all.

“That’s why you couldn’t heal Lance?” _Because of me?_

Allura didn’t meet Keith’s eyes when she gave her quiet reply. “Yes. Because the creature had laid its mark on you.” Allura blinked rapidly, twisting her hands around each other.

“I think it’s best if we let Keith and Lance recover on their own,” Krolia said, speaking for the first time. She was leveling a steady gaze at Keith, and he squirmed under his mother’s stare. The others glanced between themselves before all filing out, in a single line.

Lance sagged against Keith once they were alone again, and Keith used his right hand to brace against the table.

“So you really like me?”

“Yes, Lance. I really, really like you.”

~~~

Keith was running, running towards Lance but he seemed so far away. The snow was sucking at his feet, and he was slipping. He had to reach Lance. If he reached Lance, it would be okay. But Lance wasn’t getting any closer, and Keith couldn’t move.

“Keith!”

“Lance! I’m coming!”

The scene shifted, and Keith was back in that cave, watching Lance across the fire. He had aged, his whole head covered in white now.

“I think I’m in love with Allura.” Lance looked up. “I’m sorry, Keith. I just don’t like you like that.”

Keith felt tears slip down his cheeks, and there was a heavy ache in his chest.

The scene shifted again, and he was watching the creature—the girl—attack Lance. It had its claws sunk up to the knuckle, and Lance was screaming, he was screaming for Keith, screaming for Keith to help him, to save him, and Keith couldn’t do anything but watch couldn’t move—

Keith awoke with a start, inhaling sharply through his nose. Every muscle in his body was tense, and he couldn’t move just yet. His cheeks felt slippery with tears, and his shirt was drenched with sweat.

Slowly but surely, his heart rate began to go back to normal, and he was able to move again.

He sat up stiffly, turning his neck to both sides to crack it. The bunker was dark, and Keith’s eyes shifted to adjust to the lack of light. Things became sharper in an instant, and he gazed around the space. The lion’s cockpits weren’t meant for sleeping, but in the belly of each there was enough space for a single bed and a set of shelves opposite it. There was no shower, and a small hole served as a toilet. Compared to the castle, it was a serious downgrade, but Keith had lived in much worse.

Glancing back at the sleeping body behind him, Keith chewed on his lower lip. Lance was as still as could be, one arm bent behind his head and the other tucked on his chest. When they had fallen asleep, Keith’s fingers had been intertwined with Lance’s, and he had been curled up against his side.

The more he continued to watch Lance, the guiltier he felt. He wasn’t sure why he felt guilty, only that he did. This was new to him—all of it. Before, it had been anger and a burning feeling that could only be described as intense upsetness whenever he got like this. That had long been let go, sometime in the months aboard the whale and learning about who he was. Hell, it might have even begun to be controlled when he was training with the blades. Whatever the cause, the fact that the anger and annoyance that had sprung up so easily was gone now, replaced by…well, guilt. Keith didn’t know how to deal with this kind of guilt.

Moving on silent feet, Keith climbed out of the belly of Black, the lion opening her mouth to allow him to step out, and then bending her head once more so as to let Keith climb onto her nose.

They hadn’t ended up leaving the planet they were currently crashing on, all too shaken by Lance’s abrupt awakening and lack of a pulse to do anything. The atmosphere was safe (thank god for Pidge checking ahead of time), and Keith brought his knees up to his chest, resting his chin against them and tilting his head back to watch the stars.

The constellations and patterns were never the same anymore, shifting depending on which galaxy system they were in. Hunk had told him the name of it, but Keith struggled to recall it. Even now, through all of what they had been through, Keith found comfort in the night sky. Even when he had been little, his dad would take him up on the roof and tell him that his mom was up there somewhere, saving the world. Little Keith didn’t know the truth behind the words at the time, but the fond and faraway look on his dad’s face always made him believe in it.

Black rumbled underneath him, and Keith felt her jaw open beneath his butt. A moment later, and Lance was heaving himself over the side of the nose, huffing as he crawled over next to Keith.

“Bad dream?” Lance asked, body radiating heat. Keith shivered.

“How’d you know?”

“You’ve got this look on your face that says so. That, and the bed was cold when I woke up. You and I have similar habits, it seems.” There was the signature chuckle at the end of his words, when Lance was making a joke that he deemed snarky.

“How are you?” Keith asked, finally looking away from the stars to face Lance. The other boy’s face was turned skyward, the barest hints of silver from the sky making the panes of his face seem long, aging him.

Lance was quiet, and Keith wondered if he’d even heard the question.

Eventually, he answered, not once looking away from the sight above. “Did you know, that no matter where we are, the Big Dipper always appears? It’s right there, just under the pattern of the fish, spanning across seven stars. It’s so weird that we can go anywhere and still have it there. Pidge doesn’t know what it is—she claims I’m just making it up—but it’s always there. It’s always there. No matter if I’m alive or dead, the Big Dipper will always hang in the night sky, the world will continue to spin, and the stars won’t ever stop shining. I’ve died, and still, they shine. And no matter how bright the stars may be, I don’t think I’m alive anymore.”

“Lance…”

Lance continued. “I’ve died twice now. My hair is going white, and I’m barely nineteen. I could tell you the exact moment that I felt like I was finally living, but I can’t tell you when I stopped. No matter what I do, it doesn’t feel like I’m breathing in the same air, walking the same way, sitting under the same Big Dipper. I don’t know what alive means to me. I think… I think alive means being free from the nightmares and horror in my head. And I don’t know how to do that. How to be free like that.”

Keith sat in stunned silence. Never before had he ever heard Lance say that many words in a row, in that tone. Never had he heard the unaffected-by-anything boy sound so… broken.

Keith did the only thing he knew how. He shifted over until he could take Lance’s hand in his own, and laid them back against the cool metal of the lion. Lance curled into Keith, and Keith tucked his free arm around Lance.

“You don’t have to feel alive to live. Sometimes, living just means surviving. And if that’s all you can do sometimes, then that’s enough. Because as long as you’re surviving, you have a chance to be alive. I didn’t think I was alive when we got to space. I found myself surviving more than anything else. I found myself doing stupider and stupider shit to chase the feeling of _living_. Because I wasn’t free either. I wasn’t free from the ghosts of my mom leaving, I wasn’t free from the fires that licked at my heels whenever I was static for too long, I wasn’t free from this urge to keep running. But then I found someone who made me feel alive, someone I never thought would do that to me, and I found a reason to stand still. And when that reason…” Keith swallowed as he felt Lance turn his head to peer at him. “When that reason fell for someone else, I ran. I ran to find something or someone else to make me feel alive. No matter how hard I try, I’m not free from what happened to me. There are still times when I don’t feel alive, when the pressure of what we’ve done in space is overwhelming. But I found my reason for being alive, and even if they were in love with someone else, they were reason enough. You don’t have to be free from the past in order to find a reason, and stick with it.”

Silence enveloped the pair, and Keith blew a shaky breath out of his mouth. It was hard being open with someone after years of having no one.

“It’s hard to keep going,” Lance said finally. “It’s hard to feel like you’re enough for someone. It’s hard to find a reason.”

“It is,” Keith said. “It sure fucking is.”

“I don’t think I’m not alive. I just don’t feel like this is happening, like this is something tangible. I never thought I’d be alive for this.” Keith filled in the blank in his head. _For you._

Keith couldn’t open his mouth to form the words in his head, lower jaw quivering.

“I still feel like I’m there, like I’m in that cave again and watching you get ripped from my grasp. I don’t think I’m free just yet.”

“It’s okay not to be,” Keith managed to get out. “It’s okay not to be okay.”

“I want to be alive,” Lance whispered. “I want to be alive with you.”

“I want to be alive with you too,” Keith whispered back, and Lance pressed his face into Keith’s neck.

The stars winked above them, and Lance shuddered against him.

“We’re here,” Lance said in a soft tone. “We’re alive.”

“I promised I wouldn’t let you go.” Keith turned his head enough that he managed to press his forehead against Lance’s. “I love you, Lance. You don’t have to be okay when you’re with me.”

Lance’s eyes shone. “Thank you, Keith. Thank you for giving me a reason to feel alive.”

Keith closed the distance between them, pressing a soft kiss to Lance’s lips. Lance pressed tighter against him, and Keith shivered.

Keith pulled back only when he couldn’t breathe any longer, sitting up and tugging Lance back up with him. “C’mon, lets get to bed.”

Lance smiled at him. “I see what you’re doing, trying to get me into your bed,” he giggled, following it with a lewd wink. Keith laughed despite himself, and Lance’s smile grew.

“You know it,” Keith said, guiding Lance gently by the hand and back into the warmth of the lion.

The bed was cold when they climbed back in, Keith shucking off his cold shirt, icky from the sweat of a nightmare, and Lance unabashedly ran an eye over him.

“It is way too late and way too soon for that,” Keith said gruffly, sliding down under the covers and tucking them up to his chin. Lance crawled over next to him, nuzzling up against Keith.

“Keith,” Lance mumbled, just as Keith was beginning to drift off into sleep.

“Mm.”

“I love you too.”

~~~

“That’s our stop, just beyond us there,” Allura said, voice filtering over the comms. They were back on track, heading for the planet they had been intending for all along, before Lance and Keith disappeared.

“Now, this one has coalition members on it, and we need to be on our best behavior.” Keith waited for the barb to come at Lance, to tell him to avoid flirting with the locals, but it never was said. Instead, Hunk was told not to sample foods they hadn’t yet scanned to make sure they were safe.

“I was imprisoned in a space mall _one_ time, and you’d think I’d robbed a grocery store or eaten space poison!”

Giggles sounded, and Keith felt himself relax. Planet hopping was easy. That was something he could do. They would be here for a night or two to let the lions rest, and then they would be off again, heading towards earth. Home. No matter how many times he tried to get used to calling earth home again, he couldn’t. There was no home for him there.

The yellowish tan gases parted to allow them into the atmosphere, and Keith heard Pidge suck in a breath over the comms. Of all of them, she was always the most delighted to go to a new planet. New foods, new sights, new technology.

They landed, and Keith waited until he saw all of the lions safely lock into the ground around him. Shiro was back in Black with him today, and Keith rested a hand on the console briefly before following the older man out.

There was something off between him and Shiro, with Shiro giving him weird side eyes and longer looks than normal. Keith was used to the older man using silent introspection and not noticing where his gaze fell, but this felt different.

They were standing on the opening, waiting for Black to open her jaws up when Shiro spoke. “What was it like for you?”

Keith started at the question. “What do you mean?”

“What was it like for you on that planet? No one really seemed to ask you that question. I understand that Allura and Pidge wanted to know about what happened, from a planet perspective for data, and Lance was more grievously injured, but what happened to you?”

Keith looked out at nothing, working his jaw as he tried to fight back the overwhelming wave of memories. “It was hard,” he said at last. “It was hard being so close to him and feeling too much. I’ve not… I’ve not felt like that in a long time. I thought that after being gone for so long, after finding more about who I am and where I came from, it would be easier to let him go. But being there, with him, and seeing him so close to death, so _willing_ to die for me…” Keith trailed off, no longer sure how to finish his sentence. He was the lone wolf of the group. He didn’t talk about feelings, as much as he felt them. “It was hard.”

Shiro nodded sagely. “I know Krolia isn’t good with the mom stuff just yet, and I know you and I have spent some time apart. But I still care for you, Keith. I’ll always be your big brother. And being your big brother means looking out for you. I won’t always be able to understand what happened, and I won’t always be able to be there. But I still want to see you happy.” Keith looked over at Shiro, who was staring at him with a sad expression. “I want to be happy. And if Lance is the one making you happy, even after all this time, then I’m okay with it.”

Keith felt his face grow warm. “Are you… are you trying to give me the proud parent talk? This isn’t my first relationship, Shiro.”

Shiro smiled softly. “I know that. But I think it’s the first one that’s mattered to you.”

The jaw of Black opened that moment, and Shiro stepped out of the hanger, and Keith squinted after him into the harsh sunlight.

“Be careful out there!” Shiro called, and then he disappeared from view. Keith huffed before following him, walking over to where the rest of the group was clustered. Lance was looking a little worse for the wear, and much of the group had heavy eye bags and frizzled hair.

Keith stopped once he reached them, offering Lance a quick smile. Lance nodded at him in return, and Keith’s heart skipped a beat.

“Alright paladins. This is a coalition support hold, and I expect all of you to be on your best behavior. Allura, Coran, and Shiro will be meeting with the leaders of this city in order to play diplomat. Hunk, Pidge, I believe the two of you wanted to look for equipment to fix some of the issues with the lions. Krolia, I want you to see if there are any remaining blade members here. Romelle, you can go with her.” Krolia stiffened at the mention of her partner, not looking in Romelle’s direction. “Lance, you and I will go and check out the market for rations and other necessary supplies. I want the whole team back here by sundown for reconnaissance. Understood?”

A murmur went up through the group, and they all broke apart. Lance sidled up to his side, and leaned down to whisper in Keith’s ear. “Very professional of you, Mr. Leader.”

“Oh, hush,” Keith said, pushing past Lance. Lance made a hurt noise that Keith knew was only meant to goad him.

Kosmo padded over, sniffing at Keith’s hand. “Alright buddy, I need you to stay here and guard the camp.” Kosmo whined, and Keith dropped into a squat to be level with the wolf’s snout. “You can do that for me, can’t you? I won’t be gone long.”

Kosmo pushed his snout against Keith’s hand, and Keith gave him a few rubs before standing back up.

“Alright, that just leaves you and me.” Lance raised an eyebrow. “For _serious Voltron work_ ,” Keith stressed. Lance’s eyebrow fell.

~~~

The market was a mix of shops, some made out of strange fabric tents, others more akin to the shops back on earth. A heavy mix of spices perforated the air, and Keith was beginning to get lightheaded walking through it all. Everywhere he turned, there was a menagerie of color, of sounds and sights, and Lance had been lost to him the minute they entered the market. Keith was slightly concerned about the loss of the tan boy, but he knew Lance was more than able to handle himself. They couldn’t cling to each other all the time, right?

But Keith missed the presence next to him, and found himself mindlessly wandering through the stalls, not really paying attention to what he was supposed to be finding.

That was how he wound up in the situation he was in now.

One stall in particular had called to him, and he had brushed through the dark gauze of fabric marking the entrance. Immediately, the smells and sounds that had marked the aura of the market were gone, and in its place, an unfamiliar silence, and a soothing aroma of lavender. Keith was sure that he was supposed to be more concerned about something smelling like lavender on a planet that most definitely did not possess the plant, but he was so caught up in it that he really didn’t mind.

His head felt warm, like he had just been wrapped in a blanket. The stall was filled with shelves of what appeared to be knickknacks, little glass balls and pendants on rough cords. He was just reaching out to take ahold of one of them when a screech stopped him short.

“Get out! Get out get out get out!”

Keith’s hand was on his bayard in an instant, fingering the grip and wondering how much trouble he would get in if he started a fight in the market.

“Who’s there?” he said instead, rounding the corner, and glancing over his shoulder.

“Get out!” the voice screeched again, and Keith’s grip tightened.

“Are you speaking to me? Do you need help?”

The voice continued to scream the two words over and over again, growing louder as Keith drew closer. Finally, the source of the commotion was located. A small, pea green person was sitting on the ground, two hands clasped over each ear, small eyes screwed tight.

“Are you okay?” Keith asked, standing a safe distance away. The eyes of the person opened, entirely black, and a mouth of sharp teeth was bared.

“Get out of my shop!”

Keith stepped back, the sense of dread filling him. “Alright, I can do that.” He had taken a total of three steps back when the four hands fell away from its ears, and the black pupils suddenly went white.

The person rose, and Keith froze, transfixed. A single hand reached out towards Keith, a long finger pointing.

_“You bear the black mark of a soul lost._

_Your most beloved has paid the cost._

_Never again shall another be with you._

_Mark my words and hear them true._

_Untouchable thou have become._

_Mark my words, this cannot be undone.”_

Keith stood stone still, watching as the pupils of the figure became black again, and the pointing finger was retracted and the hands were clasped back over ears. It shivered once before falling to the ground, teeth bared once more.

“Get out!” the alien shrieked, and this time, Keith listened. He sprinted through the aisles, paying no mind to the fragile glass balls, and burst free from the gauzy black fabric, sucking a deep breath in.

He felt cold all over, and the scents of the market were once more making him dizzy. When he looked back, the shop was gone. There was no trace of the black fabric he had just burst free of, no trace of the mysterious shop keeper and the haunting words it had spoken.

Keith ran his hands over his arms, trying to warm himself back up. Sunlight was dipping low in the market now, and he hurried to collect the rest of what he truly came here for.

Despite the goosebumps on his arms having disappeared some time ago, and the rest of the market being pleasantly welcome, Keith couldn’t shake what he had heard.

_Never again shall another be with you. Untouchable thou have become._

What did it mean? Were they just some mishmash fortune told by a mysterious alien? No matter how hard he tried, no matter how many different things he attempted to focus on, Keith couldn’t get the words out of his head.

He found Lance standing by the entrance to the market, holding his own bag of goodies in one hand and fiddling with the hair at the nape of his neck with his other hand. More than just a single piece was white now; it was like Lance had gotten an undercut of silver.

“Find what you needed?” Keith asked, and Lance jumped slightly, face panicked before relaxing into a smirk when he saw it was just Keith.

“Yup,” Lance said with a pop of his tongue, lifting the bag slightly. Keith eyed it, and the expression Lance was sporting.

“Do I want to know what contraband you picked up?”

Lance laughed. “Just some things for the others that they couldn’t get themselves.” He began walking back towards the encampment of lions, and Keith fell into step beside him. “And some stuff for me.”

It should have been a perfectly innocent statement, but the way that Lance said it made it sound entirely lewd. Keith felt his own cheeks warming, fidgeting with a loose thread on his suit.

“How was your time in the market?” Lance asked, and Keith stiffened, faltering in his step. Lance noticed, and slowed to a halt opposite him, eyebrows creased. He waited for Keith to explain, and once more, Keith found himself at a loss for words when faced with this blue-eyed boy he had so deeply fallen for.

“It was… interesting?” he said at last, words coming out as a confused question rather than a statement.

Lance opened his mouth to say more, but Pidge and Hunk bustled by at that exact moment, cutting him off from whatever he was going to say. They were moving at a fast pace, arms laden with metal parts of some sort, and Pidge had the devious look on her face that said she had just done something she really shouldn’t have, while Hunk looked like he was going to be sick.

“You should probably move it!” Pidge called over her shoulder, and Keith let out a low growl before exchanging a look with Lance and breaking out into a run after the pair.

The four of them burst into the encampment they had made, and that was when Keith heard the commotion behind them.

“Pidge, what did you do?”

“Nothing!” she yelled, and then ducked into Green so fast she could have been mistaken for Kosmo.

“We should all probably get into the lions though,” Hunk said, still holding his own armful of parts, and followed Pidge into Green. Lance was chuckling softly, and Keith had half a mind to reprimand him as well.

The commotion was growing louder, and Keith really, really did not have the mental strength to deal with whatever was coming their way.

Motioning to Lance, the pair ended up in Black, each setting their respective bags down. “Power down,” Keith told Black, who immediately shut off all external lights. The noise was directly outside now, and Keith waited for the pounding of fists on metal to begin.

Lance was still chuckling, though he was now sitting on the bed and bracing a hand against his side with a small grimace of pain.

His anger melted into concern, and Keith gently sat down next to Lance. Peeling his hand away from his side, Keith carefully watched Lance’s face for any indicator that he was doing more harm than good.

“It’s just a cramp,” Lance ground out, and Keith gave him a deadpan face in return.

“When are you going to learn not to hide shit from me?” Keith asked, inspecting the place where Lance’s hand had been for any blood or torn stitching. Nothing was visible through his outer suit, but that didn’t mean there weren’t any issues.

“Listen, I’m still getting used to this whole ‘reciprocated feeling’ thing, give me some time.”

Keith looked up to meet Lance’s eyes, which were watching him with an expression he couldn’t place.

“That planet may have been a walking nightmare, but it led to this, didn’t it?” Lance said gently, and Keith nodded.

“How long?” he asked.

Lance didn’t hesitate. “Since the first time Iverson told me I’d never best you, and I made it my mission to beat you in something, anything. And somewhere along the way, all I wanted was for you to notice me. Took me far too long to realize why.”

Keith swallowed thickly, removing his hand from where it had been pressed against Lance’s side, and placing it along his jaw, tracing faint bruises with the pad of his thumb. “I noticed you." A faint chuckle. "Trust me, I noticed you.”

Lance didn’t flinch under Keith’s touch, and Keith continued to trace patterns along Lance’s face, trying to memorize by touch what he had long committed to memory.

“What about you?” Lance asked, mouth barely moving as he kept a steady eye on Keith.

“Our very first class together.”

Lance’s eyebrows shot up, the first movement he’d made in some time, his eyes widening. “You remember that?”

“Of course I do. You were the loud, boisterous preteen insistent on answering every question, even when you had no idea what the answer was. You irked me to no end, but even then, you had a pretty face.” Keith meant for it to be said with a teasing tone, but instead the words sounded gentle, sincere. His thumb had made it down to Lance’s mouth, tracing over a full lower lip.

“God, why did it take us so long to get here?” Lance groaned, the vibrations of his words making Keith’s thumb tingle.

“We’re here now, so what does it matter?”

Lance was leaning fully into Keith’s touch, and Keith was too transfixed by the sight to do much else but continue.

Lance’s eyelids fluttered shut as Keith leaned in, brushing a hesitant kiss against the smart mouth that had driven him crazy for far too long. Lance made a noise, and Keith took that as a sign to continue.

Keith pushed closer to Lance, who opened his mouth in response. Their kiss deepened, along with the growing pressure in Keith’s chest. He wanted to cry, even if he wasn’t quite sure why. It was all so much, all at once, and when they broke away, he could feel the wetness on his cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” Lance asked, in that soft, _stupid_ tone that made Keith melt. This time, though, it only served to make him cry harder. Lance took one of his hands in his own, and leaned his forehead against Keith’s.

“You don’t have to be okay when you’re with me, remember?” Keith nodded, too choked up to speak. “It’s okay not to be okay.”

A pair of firm arms were being wrapped around him, and Keith stiffened for a moment before relaxing into Lance.

“I wasn’t there for you, Lance. And even when I was, I still couldn’t do anything. You’ve died twice now. And I—I’m so scared of losing you all over again.”

The arms around him tightened, and Keith sagged into Lance. “But you didn’t lose me. You didn’t. And I’m here for you, just like you are for me.”

“I don’t deserve this,” Keith whispered, and Lance pulled back to the point where he was looking Keith in the eye.

“If anyone doesn’t deserve this, it’s me. You’re the leader of Voltron. You’ve been on so many blade missions and done so much. Everyone knows you. I’m the goofy sidekick, who can’t even shoot properly because he’s distracted by such a fine piece of ass.” Lance chuckled, and despite himself, Keith chuckled weakly too.

“I just keep remembering our time in the caves, and all that happened there. I thought—I thought I was the only one suffering from a broken heart while we were there. I never should have blamed you for any of it.”

“It’s alright, kitten. It really is.”

Keith sniffled, pulling up a free hand to wipe at his eyes. “Did you just call me kitten?”

Lance grinned. “The first of many nicknames I have lined up.”

The pair grinned at each other, and the pressure in Keith’s chest eased. Lance pressed a chaste kiss against Keith’s lips, murmuring, “We can take it at whatever pace you need, kitten. But eventually, I’d really like to use the items in my bag over there.”

Keith pulled back, abject, and Lance full on laughed, tan face crinkling and brown hair flopping into his eyes. “You are so easy to rile up.”

Keith wasn’t sure if Lance was serious or not, and presently, he didn’t want to find out. For now, things were okay.

And it was okay to just be okay.

~~~

In the weeks that had passed, they had touched base on too many planets to keep track off, met too many people to make lasting impressions. In time, Keith forgot all about what the alien had spoken to him in the little, strange shop.

Things had settled back to normal. Well, as normal as one could call it. The team dynamic had shifted enough after Lance and him had their stint on the snow planet, with Allura looking guilty at every pass and Krolia and Shiro playing overbearing parent. Hunk and Pidge had kept to themselves, and Coran and Romelle had begun to bond over their shared culture. That left the dynamics feeling strange to say the least, and even if they had enough power to form Voltron, it wouldn’t be happening anytime soon.

They had landed on yet another planet—and Keith felt a flash of déjà vu when he took in the surroundings. Trees colored purple and the sky a dark shade of blue, the air felt crisp on his cheeks and as Kosmo circled around his ankles, Keith was once more thrust into the past.

It was happening more and more—being lost in memories as rapid fire as enemy coverage, spurred on by the simplest of things and messing with his present time. He wasn’t sure how he kept getting sucked into these moments of memory, and he couldn’t figure out yet if they were something bad. He didn’t need this interfering with battle or training.

He felt Lance before he saw him. That was another thing that had shifted—it was like a tug in his gut, a prickling in his neck, and there was Lance, right there beside him a moment later. Keith now knew Lance’s presence better than anyone else here.

Lance came up behind him, bending slightly to rest his chin on Keith’s right shoulder. Keith leaned back, bracing his back against Lance’s chest as the rest of the team filed out of their lions and into the makeshift circle. Allura was stretching her back and attempting to keep the mice in order, even as they tried to burrow deeper into her hair. Keith chuckled, and Lance blew air harshly out of his nose, tickling Keith’s neck.

“Of all the people in the universe, we’re the ones that were chosen,” Keith said musingly, watching as Pidge tripped over her own feet, reluctant to look up from her laptop screen.

“Weird, right?”

“Yeah.”

They got a fire started, and the whole team relaxed. They hadn’t been able to have a night like this for some time, with as many hospitable planets and cities and towns and everything else they had encountered. It was nice to sit down and not feel like they were on the brink of death or war, sometimes both, with every passing day. It was nice to feel like a family around a campfire, telling spooky stories and roasting marshmallows. Except the stories weren’t spooky—at least not from Coran—and the marshmallows were from a source that Keith didn’t want to identify.

Lance was leaning into him, and just like earlier, Keith was in the past, looking across the campfire at Lance and Shiro, wondering if he would ever be able to be that close, wondering if he would ever see anything in Lance’s eyes other than disdain and annoyance. The present came back to him, and he was here, and there was something other than annoyance and disdain and something closer to fondness. Maybe something else if Keith dared to look closer.

The fire began to dwindle down, and Keith saw more than a few yawns around the team. “Alright team, we’re calling it a night,” Shiro said, just as Keith yawned himself. Krolia stood up, popping her knees as she did so, offering to take first watch. Keith met his mom’s eyes across the space, and she gave him a single nod, the barest trace of an approving smile on her mouth. He nodded back, face growing warm around the dying flame, and waited until everyone had gone to their respective lions. Well, nearly everyone.

Lance trailed him as Keith slowly made his way to the Black lion, making sure that everyone was in their proper places. Pidge to Green with Krolia joining her later, Romelle and Allura to Blue, Shiro and Coran into red, Hunk into Yellow with Kalternecker, leaving Lance and Keith to Black. While there still wasn’t a lot of room in each lion, Black had a slight bit more, given that she was the largest of the lions.

Their bedding was already laid out, blankets stolen from the castle previous to its destruction stretched over the thin frame that served as a bed. Two pillows rested at the head, and Lance didn’t hesitate to flop down onto the bed, wearing only his under suit and jacket. In fact, he didn’t even bother to take his shoes off.

“Can you please be at least somewhat… I don’t know what, but just take off your shoes before you get under the covers. It’s gross out there.”

Lance snorted. “Never thought I’d hear that coming from you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it means, _Mullet_.”

“Last I checked, you were fairly devoted to the mullet you kept tugging on—”

“That’s enough!” Lance suddenly squeaked, popping his now bright red face up. “Point taken,” he said, still in an unnatural voice, and used his opposite foot to push his boots off, each landing with a solid _plunk_ on the metal floor.

Keith, however, had the decency to strip, unlike the boy in his bed. They no longer had the castle systems that automatically cleaned your suits for you, and one could only go so many days wearing the exact same thing without it beginning to reek. Why make it worse by sleeping in it too?

Keith looked up only to find Lance watching him, a focused look on his face.

“Problem?” Keith asked, glancing over at Lance as he stepped out of his suit, leaving only underwear on.

“Nope,” Lance replied in what Keith assumed was an attempt to be smooth that failed miserably.

Keith watched Lance for another thirty seconds or so before shrugging and moving over to the bed, slipping under the covers in one motion.

“Can you get undressed please? I don’t need any of the outside in my bed.”

Lance sighed heavily through his nose, looking up towards the ceiling and muttering something under his breath in Spanish.

But Lance undressed, stripping to bare essentials as well, and joined Keith under the covers. Through his mental connection with Black, Keith signaled that it was time to power down for the night, and the lights clicked off.

Lance lay flat on his back, and Keith shifted until they were pressed shoulder to shoulder, finding Lance’s hand and intertwining their fingers.

“We’ll be home soon,” Lance whispered, rousing Keith from the nearly asleep state he had been in.

“Yeah.”

Silence.

“What do you think will be there for us? Do you think we’ll find it just as we left it?”

“I… I don’t think so. We’ve been gone for so long, it’d be hard to imagine that nothing has changed.”

Keith heard Lance swallow. “Yeah. I just hope we’re not too late.” Keith didn’t need the rest of the sentence finished for him; the heartbreak in Lance’s voice was enough. Keith knew what it was like not to have a family to return to at the end of the day, knew the struggles of finding things changed in a moment that felt no longer than a heartbeat. He also knew that it wasn’t easy to voice those things, to tell Lance how much he hurt for him. So he did what he could.

Shifting on the bed, Keith let go of Lance’s hand to prop himself up on his elbows, and Lance turned just his head to watch Keith. A single tear was tracking down his cheek, and Keith only briefly hesitated—wondering if he should even act—before pressing a gentle kiss where the tear had already soaked into tan skin. Lance let out something like a whine, and Keith pressed a firmer kiss there. And another, just a little lower. And then another, and another, until he was at Lance’s mouth.

Lance met him without any sign of resignation, kissing Keith with a soft eagerness that was hard to meet. There was still that aching part in Keith’s chest that told him he was holding too many things back, but it was small enough right now that it didn’t matter.

Lean fingers pressed into his hips, and Keith was pulled on top of Lance, barely coherent as to what was happening beyond the realm of his mouth against Lance’s. Lance was the first to break away, panting heavily, burying his face in Keith’s neck. Keith’s whole body felt alight, and he was suddenly very aware of the position they had ended up in. Keith was now fully straddling Lance, and heat was steadily building in his core.

“Lance,” Keith whispered, and Lance whined. The tan boy’s face was still buried in Keith’s neck, and Keith shivered as Lance nipped at him.

“It’s absolutely unfair how you do this to me,” Lance breathed, tickling Keith’s neck.

“Pretty sure we’re in the same boat here,” Keith said, and Lance chuckled, the force of it vibrating against Keith’s chest.

They sat in that position, Keith flush against Lance, neither boy moving. Keith was content like this, in the warmth of it, even with the heavy presence in his gut. But then Lance shifted underneath him, friction grating in just the right way, and Keith groaned, causing Lance to still once more.

“Keith,” Lance whispered, and Keith heard the question in Lance’s voice. And even though the heaviness still remained in his chest, it was small, and he could bear it. It wasn’t being caused by… this.

“I’m good if you are,” Keith said in reply, hating how breathless he sounded. He was supposed to be in control. But the more he wanted to be, the less he felt like he truly was. For once, that was okay.

Lance shifted once more, and that same wave of pleasure washed over Keith, who groaned once more. Lance continued to do it until Keith got the message, grinding down on Lance in rhythm with Lance’s movements. They moaned in unison, Keith feeling Lance shudder. His fingers were still digging into Keith’s hips, leaving finger shaped bruises that Keith would never admit to admiring in the morning.

They were reconnected at the lips, building up to almost a painful rhythm. Keith was pretty sure he had never been this hard in his life. One of Lance’s hands leaves his hips, and finds its way onto Keith’s ass, squeezing gently. Keith bucks into Lance, and just like that, he’s sucked back into the past.

This time, he’s surrounded by the heavy scent of lavender, crystal balls winking at him from the corner of his eye. A small, pea green man cowers before him before slowly standing up, mouth opening but barely moving in order to utter a set of words that had only distantly plagued Keith for the past several weeks.

One word in particular is said with such force that it’s the force of a push rocking Keith back, and just like that, he thrust into the present, a panting boy beneath him even as his heart races from something else. Keith bolted up, breaking their kiss, his breathing heavy.

“Lance,” Keith said. The shift in his voice must have been clear, as Lance froze.

“Keith? What’s wrong?”

“You’re not supposed to be able to touch me.”

There’s a pause as Lance soaked the information in, hand still firmly gripping Keith’s ass. “I’m sorry, what?”

Keith rushed to explain, anxiety overriding coherent thought. “An alien in that market that we stopped at told me this prophecy about not being touchable because there’s a black mark on my soul from my most beloved dying for me and I’m doomed to be without touch and all of these other things and it can’t be undone and—”

“Keith, Keith, calm down,” Lance said, removing his hand from where it had been to stroke soothing lines down Keith’s back. “It’s okay.”

Lance’s tone is gentle and sincere, and just like every time before this, from the very beginning, it brings Keith back from the edge he was threatening to nose dive off of, pulling him back from doing something reckless that would only hurt them all.

“So, some alien told you that you were untouchable? All because your most beloved died and this has somehow put a black mark on your soul?”

Keith nodded, hearing how stupid it sounded put in plain terms like that. Lance chuckled, and Keith couldn’t help but breathlessly chuckle with him.

“I’m pretty sure I’m still able to touch you,” Lance said, giving his ass a squeeze for emphasis, “and if anything, it sounds like a challenge to me.”

Even in the dark, Keith could see the wicked glint in Lance’s eyes, and he bit the inside of his lip to keep from making any more embarrassing noises. “I think you’re right,” he said once he had gotten himself under enough control.

“It’s still a yes?” Lance asked, and Keith breathed a yes back at him. Upon hearing that, Lance grinned, and, tugging Keith down until they were flush once more, kissed Keith within an inch of death.

He could feel his orgasm steadily building, hot and heavy as his cock strained against the flimsy material of his boxers, the friction of Lance’s cock against his own making his weak in the knees.

They had broken away once more, Lance trailing kisses down Keith’s body, a hot tongue swirling around his nipple while Lance’s stupid fingers tweaked the other.

“Lance, I’m close,” Keith whispered, and Lance immediately broke away. Keith nearly shouted at the loss of contact as Lance got up, stepping away from the bed and over to the shelf opposite the bed.

“What are you doing?” The words came out in a growl, and Keith watched as Lance’s entire back stiffened, before he let out a long exhale.

“You’ll see kitten. But if you keep talking to me like that, this might be over before the real fun is started.”

 _Oh_. Lust had dulled Keith’s head, but he was still clear enough to register what Lance meant.

“I think you should get back over here,” Keith said in the same voice, and he watched as Lance _quaked._ Oh, he was going to have some fun with this.

Lance was moving back over to him now, one hand tucked behind his back as he settled down by Keith’s feet. Keith propped himself up on his elbows, erection bobbing as he moved.

“Just let me know if it’s too much,” Lance said lowly, and Keith moved to sit up further but a hand on his thigh stopped him.

Lance bent down, brushing a chaste kiss against Keith’s lips. “Trust me, okay?”

Keith nodded, and allowed Lance to lay him fully down. Slim fingers were hooking into the waistband of Keith’s underwear, and he lifted his hips to help Lance get them down. Only once he was lying butt naked in bed did he begin to feel self-conscious.

Lance drew in a ragged breath, and murmuring, “Fuck, you’re perfect.”

There was no time for Keith to respond before there was warm breath on the inside of his thighs, so close but so far away from where he wanted that fucking mouth. Lance peppered kisses all along the insides of his legs as Keith distantly heard the pop of a cap. There was a wet squelching sound, and there was no time to figure out what _that_ meant before a wet tongue was circling his entrance; Keith couldn’t help it as he bucked at the sensation.

“Easy there,” Lance murmured, placing a palm flat against Keith’s hip to hold him down. Slowly but surely, Lance was delving deeper and deeper into his hole, stretching him as precome dripped onto his stomach.

“Fuck,” Keith breathed, and Lance pulled away just enough to reply, “That is the idea.”

One final swipe of his tongue, and then Lance was pulling all the way away. “You’re reacting more than I thought you would,” said the tan boy with a cheeky grin. This time, Keith squirmed, and it wasn’t because of anything Lance was doing.

“It’s uhm—it’s my first time,” Keith said slowly, and Lance’s blue eyes widened.

“Holy shit.”

“You don’t need to make fun of me,” Keith snapped.

Lance continued on as if he hadn't heard him. “Holy shit. I’m taking Keith Kogane’s virginity. Oh my God.” Lance looked like a kid on Christmas, and Keith’s self-consciousness began to diminish.

Lance sank back down between Keith’s legs without any further comment, and the source of the squelching sound was discovered when a slick finger poked at him. “Easy there, kitten,” Lance said, once more placing a hand on Keith’s hip. “This might hurt a little bit, so stop me when you need to.”

Keith nodded, even though Lance couldn’t see him, and braced against it as a lubed-up digit entered him. “Just relax,” Lance said, like it wasn’t at all a weird sensation. But slowly, Keith did begin to relax, adjusting to the stretch he was feeling.

“Tell me when to move.”

“You’re good,” Keith said with gritted teeth, although not from pain.

The digit began to thrust in and out of him, and with each movement, the pain ebbed into pleasure until Keith was all but begging for more. Not that Keith would ever beg. _Especially_ not to Lance.

Lance got the message though, inserting a second finger into him. He worked these ones with less time, until a third finger was there.

Lance’s fingers thrust in, hitting something deep inside him, and Keith shouted as an intense wave of pleasure rocked him.

“Like that?” Lance asked, voice ragged.

Keith moaned. “Do it again.” Lance continued to probe at that spot, the heat in Keith’s core building and building.

“Fuck Lance, I’m close.”

The fingers were abruptly pulled out, and Keith actually _whined_.

“Still doing good?” Lance asked, forever the perfect gentleman when it counted.

“I’d be doing better if your fingers were still inside me.”

“Don’t you worry, kitten, something better is coming.”

There was the sound of something being torn open, and then the pop of the bottle again. “Did you manage to find space condoms?”

“Yup.” Keith could hear the smile to his words. “Safety first, always.”

Slick sounds filled the space as Lance spread lube over his dick, and Keith watched as his face melted in pleasure. _God, he’s beautiful._ Keith wasn’t a religious man, but he might have had his closest encounter with heaven right then and there, watching Lance’s face contort like that.

“Ready?”

“Please.”

The blunt head of Lance’s cock brushed against his hole, and Keith tensed as Lance pushed through the tight ring of muscle. Both boys moaned as Lance began to fill Keith, and as Keith adjusted to the sensation of having a dick up his ass.

“This is,” Keith pants, “slightly strange, right?”

Lance nods, face contorted. “Yeah. Never thought I’d be here, with you, doing this, while alive.”

Another memory, but this time it doesn’t overwhelm him. “I want to be alive with you, Lance.”

A wobbly smile. “I want to be alive with you too, Keith.” A soft brush of lips that has Keith tensing as Lance shifts inside of him.

“Ready, mullet?”

“Ready.”

And then Lance is pulling out before thrusting back in, one hand knotted in Keith’s hair and the other braced up next to his head. Lance groaned as Keith arched, desperate for contact, desperate for that other hand to be gripping him.

He almost moved his own hand to help out before Lance stops him with another thrust—hitting that golden spot again—and a nip to the ear. “Remember the challenge?”

_Untouched._

Keith wanted to protest, he really did, but the way that Lance is moving inside him, touching him like _that_ , and the sheer feeling of it all has him unable to form anything but Lance’s name.

Over and over and over, Lance pounded into him, picking up speed as Keith neared that edge for the third time. This time, hanging on the edge of a precipice, Lance wouldn’t be the one to pull him back; he’d be the one to push him over.

“I’m—I’m close,” Keith said in a shaky breath. God, he was so close, so overcome with pleasure that he wasn’t sure he could last much longer. All he needed was a hand on his dick and that would be it for him.

Instead, Lance leaned down, hot breath in Keith’s ear. “Come for me, love.”

Keith came with a shout, cum painting both of their stomachs as Lance hit that spot for a final time, driving hard into him. Lance pulsed inside of him as Keith rode out the last of his orgasm, breathing heavily as Lance slumped on top of him.

“Told you. Told you I could do it.”

Keith swatted at him, too exhausted to do much else.

“How was that for your first time?”

“I feel alive.”

~~~

The next morning, Keith woke up with a stiffness in him like no other. Lance was still sprawled out and would be for the next hour or so.

Slowly, Keith got dressed as he smiled to himself, remembering the events of the night before. He hadn’t been lying when he told Lance that he truly felt like he was alive in that moment.

Krolia was perched on a left-over log from the night before when Keith exited Black, squinting into the early morning light.

“Sleep well?” she asked, without turning to face him. Keith felt his chest tighten as he fought off a wave of memories.

“Well enough,” he said, sitting down next to her.

She was smiling, gazing off at something he couldn’t see. She was turning her Blade knife between her fingers, with the practiced ease that Keith could only long for.

“You know, I still remember my first time with your father. There’s nothing quite like those earth men,” she said casually, and Keith spluttered. “Those lions aren’t quite as sound proof as you might think.”

“Mom!”

~~~

Another day, another planet. There had been more nights like that with Lance, but they were here on a formal mission—even as Lance was left to roam with free will through their shopping district.

That left him with Shiro and Allura at a diplomatic meeting, hoping to secure a future trade route. The older ones were doing much of the talking while Keith hung back, hugging the wall, scanning around the room for any sign of danger. Occasionally, one alien in particular would direct a question his way, and he would answer it, but other than that his job was silent.

The meeting drew to a close, and the alien that had been directing questions at Keith called for him to stay a moment.

“What may I help you with?” Keith asked. The alien—he was pretty sure it was a male of some sort—fluttered its eyes at him.

“Well, as the leader of Voltron, I was hoping you could—” His words cut off abruptly as he froze. Keith followed his gaze to where the alien’s arm was hovering a millimeter above his bicep, unable to move it any further.

Keith stood in shocked silence as he processed this. Were they not allowed to touch him without permission? Was it some kind of cultural thing?

But Keith’s answer came to him in the form of a resigned and fearful tone. “You bear a black mark,” the alien whispered solemnly.

“A black mark?”

“Your most beloved has died for you. No other may touch you so long as the mark remains.”

_Where had he heard that phrase before?_

Oh.

_Oh._

“So, you’re not able to touch me, due to being romantically interested?”

“Romantic is one word,” the alien drawled, and Keith took a step back, reeling.

“Excuse me, I have to go.”

_He had to tell Lance._

~~~

Keith wasn’t able to find a chance to tell him that day. They had gotten back from the meeting, and by then night had fallen. A quick team dinner before all retreated to the rooms they had been offered by the royal family for the night, and by the time that Keith made it to his own room—the one he assumed he would share with Lance—Lance was ushered away, giving Keith no time to explain what he had learned.

He tossed and turned in the dark, soft moonlight filtering through the curtains from the double moons that hung in the sky tonight. Eventually, he grew so frustrated that he stepped out onto his balcony, hopped onto the ledge, and pushed himself up onto the roof.

There he sat, cool night breeze ruffling his hair as he contemplated the days events.

Did he really care that much about what the two aliens had told him?

Did it matter?

Did it mean that he would never be free from that planet?

Ever since the day that they had escaped, everything had been different with Lance. Not only because of the discovery of mutual feelings, but the connection that was in him now, like a cord tethered to the other boy. The memories that he got sucked into with no warning, the feeling that something was always behind him in the dark, waiting to snatch him from Lance’s arms once more without a goodbye.

The nightmares that wouldn’t let him find peace.

The nightmares that showed him what should have happened if Black hadn’t chosen that moment to wake up.

He felt Lance before he saw him, soft footsteps on the shingles of the roof.

“Thought I’d find you up here.”

“You thought correctly.”

Lance plopped down next to him, warmth radiating off, warming Keith. Keith observed him out of the corner of his eye. The color had come back to Lance’s skin, but the white in his hair remained, giving him a teenage edgy vibe.

“I can’t sleep either. Not since that planet. Not without you by my side.”

Keith swallowed, focusing on the two moons up above. The light from them blocked out any hope of tracing the stars, but Keith knew that somewhere, somewhere high above, the Big Dipper was shining down on them.

“Remember that night? That night I told you about what the alien in the shop told me? That I was untouchable, with a black mark on my soul?”

He felt Lance frown, even if he didn’t see it. “Yeah, why?”

“I think I know what it means. I… There was the diplomat meeting today, and one alien in particular was, well, he was into me. And when he tried to touch me, he couldn’t. He physically couldn’t put his hands on me. And he too claimed there was a black mark on my soul.”

“Keith, you know that doesn’t matter. It’s probably just—”

“It does matter,” Keith insisted. “It does matter. It matters because if they’re right, if they’re right that I’m untouchable to anyone but you in a romantic sense, that I’ll never be free from what happened there. _We’ll_ never be free.” Keith could feel his eyes burning, and he blinked furiously to ward against the tears.

“Keith. Look at me.”

Keith turned, reluctantly, to meet Lance’s fond expression. “Who was it that told me you don’t have to be free to have a reason to be alive?”

“I don’t—”

“Keith,” Lance said, leaning over to press his forehead against Keith’s. “It doesn’t matter if you think you’re free or not from what happened there. What matters is that you’re here, in the now. _We’re alive_. And one day, it’ll fade. You will be free. Black mark or no, you’re still mine. And I’m yours, undead or fully living.”

The tears that he didn’t want came with a rush, and they stayed there, like that, foreheads pressed together until the knot in his chest loosened enough for him to be able to breathe again.

“Lance.”

“Keith.”

Keith sighed, mouth wobbling as he built up the courage to say the words in his head. “Through time and space, through paradise and hellscapes, in the universe that refused to wait for lovers but sent the same seven stars to guide the, I found you. And you found me. Untouchable or not, free from demons or still clinging to the past, I want to be alive with you Lance. You’re the only one.”

Lance laughed wetly. “Practicing our wedding vows, are we, Mullet?”

Keith laughed too, finding Lance’s hand and intertwining it with his. He opened his eyes just a crack to see Lance’s blue eyes—those damned blue eyes—shining in the moonlight. “I want to be alive with you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on social media! I enjoy it so much, I promise (also, if there are ever any fics you'd like to see written, don't hesitate to send me requests via instagram or tumblr (i'm not super active on my insta, but I do get notifications so don't ever think I won't see it if you message me)
> 
> Instagram: blondeslytherine  
> tumblr: blondeslytherin


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